Poll Position

As India braces itself for polls lets look at how rational we are at voting for the right people. As Indians, we have a lot of pride in flaunting our nationality. But, when it comes to voting, we are far behind. Ask a novice and he would reply that he does not beleive the voting system in the country. Ask another and he would say, give me a bottle of whisky and I would vote for anybody. In a distant country called America, people voted for change, here in india, we vote for no change. Basically, our society despises change.....and that is evident from the way religion is thrown in the ring like a football and kicked around by vagabonds. While on one hand we have fools who claim that they are saviors of the Indian culture, on the other hand we have bigger fools who claim they are saviors of country itself; all this when there are a countless attacks on the country by people within the country; sometimes in the name of religion and sometimes as terrorism.

We have heard the statement "this is a era of coalition governments". The political parties stoop to such an extent, that they would put Cleopatra to shame. Parties which were once considered enemies, get together like a script straight from Bollywood. Archrivals become best buddies. And in the midst of all this, money changes hands like a parallel banking system. We have had PMs who haven't even lasted a fortnight and we call ourselves the biggest democracy in the world. Democracy has become an object that the citizens of the country use to claim their rights but wouldnt make any attempts to follow their duties.

A popular TV commercial "Jaago Re" shows us how the youth needs to respond to elections and vote responsibly. However, I am sure it looks good on celluloid, but ground realities show us a different picture. Invarably, there will be people who say "I wanted to vote, but I did not have an election card", "All are equally corrupt, there is no point voting", "No time dude", "I have more productive work to do", "I dont beleive in Democracy", "I dont pay tax, u expect me to vote"..............and so on.

But at the end of the day......these are like excuses one would give in a school for missing classes! At the end of the day Democracy is of the people, by the people, for the people!!!

Go Jump

New Zealand is one place I have to visit someday. Pristine beaches, thrilling adventure sports is what come to my mind when I think of NZ. Specifically, the bungy jump from kawarau bridge seems to be one of the best experiences one would get in NZ. I have never been to NZ, but I certainly plan to be there someday!!!

I think, therefore I am

At times we humans have this great abiity to think too much. I mean in a sense that beats all senses. Computers have the problem of overheating and thereby shutting itself, unfortunately we humans don't! Take the example of trying to understand a complicated scientific theory from Einstein. I am sure most of us wouldn't understand a thing. And the people who claim they have understood are lying. 

Nevertheless, there was one instance where I found that thinking too much was good. I have heard this story from many people, and each time I heard a new version. Let me give u a breif outline:" Once an atheist science professor comes to the class and questions the students of the class about the validity of God. He makes strong statements which would even make a god fearing person a non beleiver. The strongest point he makes he makes is that of god existed, there needed to be some proof. Can anyone touch God, See God and so on.......the class is stunned in silence. Suddenly one student raises his hand. The professor is happy as he thinks his theory was foolproof. The student says "Sir, you dont have brains!!!" The professor is taken aback, recomposing himself he says "what do you mean?" The student now gets all the attention from the class and he continues, "Sir, if you had brains, there must be some conclusive proof. Can you touch your brain? Can you hear your brain? Can you feel your brain?If you still claim you have brains, then how can you say God does not exist?  The whole class erupts into a thunder of applause.......truly this chap deserved it.

I have no clue who the person was, but had I thought so much, my brain would have one numb!!! Studies claim that we only use a small part of our intelligence......so true considering Edison never had formal education. As they say "i was born intelligent, education ruined me"

Anything for publicity!

The recent mangalore attacks by the Sri Rama Sene gives us a glimpse of how cheap our politicians will get to gain publicity. What is worse, the head of the lunatic group admits it and thanks the media for giving his party the much needed publicity. As it is said "make hay while the sun shines", now the party claims it will disrupt the Valentines day celebration. The method they plan to use: forcibly marry people who are dating........that in a way saves the couple some trouble. No one has to propose to the other!!! After all why do people date!

For once the Sri Rama Sena is proving themselves........after all Lord Rama's army had MONKEYS. Oops....wrong.....those monkeys respected women.....these don't.

One piece of advise for the hooligans.....Grow up guys....and stop tarnishing the religions to gain petty publicity. 

Astrology: creativity at its best!

Astrology has been around for ages now and I really wonder where it all began. In fact, who says time traveling isn't possible. Visit an astrologer today and he will take you on a joyride to the past and future and guess what you will believe every word of it!!!

I'm no maverick in astrology, but the whole concept amazes me and I find it funny to an extent. The reason: You go to an unknown person; in all probability he has a flowing white beard, he speaks funny things and makes funny gestures and looks like a character straight from stone age.; He then will ask about your name, your birthday, birthmark, birthplace etc. After all these he'll show you glimpses of your astronomy textbooks (which you may have missed studying in your school) and finally tell you fantasies about your future. Not to mention your pockets are ripped before you are out of his 'abode'.

Adding to all the drama, you have multiple disciplines in astrology. There is a Chinese astrology, Indian astrology and all other existing countries. In India you have an astrologer in every street. Each claiming that their predictions are much better and 'beware of imitators'. Many are of the opinion that a person who does not find a job has a Plan B : Astrology/palmistry.

Palmistry is popular even in the working classes. There is ample literature on palmistry and everyone who's read a couple of books can read your palm. Professional palm readers have business cards that can put a qualified professional's business card to shame!

But, we have to give it to them that they give people hope (although it could be false hope). It is probably very unscientific too but who cares........I believe in astrology and palmistry and so do you!!!

'Test'ing times

We all hate exams, don't we? I am no exceptions to this and I am being quite vociferous about it. When every new course starts, the first thing i do is count the number of exams I have to write. Nevertheless the number of exams I write have come down over the years.

When I was in my 10th grade, my dad used to say, "do this exam well and you can enjoy the rest of your college life". Its been 6 years since and he still says the same things. I have to say the law of diminishing marginal utility has come to play. After the 10th, it was 12th. It felt like being tied with a tether and being told, "go, you may go as far as you want". It was a never ending cycle of exams after exams. Sometimes a class test and sometimes a preparatory exam. By the time final exams come, I used to be so tired of exams that the sense of purpose is totally lost.

But that was still early days. I had to write the all important CAT. And guess what, I voluntarily took the trouble of enrolling into a tutorial. It easily broke all my previous record for preparatory exams put together. On D day, the questions were as Greek and Latin to me as they were to me before I enrolled to the tutorial. Nevertheless the law of averages caught up with me and I did pretty okay. Many students across the nation had similar horrors and I benefited.

The saga of writing exams continues and it doesnt seem like there is going to be any respite. Good night. I have an exam tomorrow!!!

The art of 'Slang'ing

We all love our slang, don't we? I had once traveled west and in my conversations with the taxi driver, I discovered how is still there for me to learn! We were discussing Kebabs and he suddenly said, "Aap kya Khaate? bade ka ya chote ka? I was taken aback, not knowing how to respond. Weather to accept my ignorance or fake knowledge. I did the wise thing, I asked him "ye bada-chota kya hai". He then explained that by Bada he meant Cow meat and Chota meant Goat meat. Huh! safe I clarified. Had I chosen an option I would have had either of those animals for dinner that day. (clarification: I don't eat either of those animals)

Hey, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. There is such progress in these slangs that it is difficult to catch up. We generally use the terminology 'lol' quite frequently. Some of the people whom I have interacted with have no clue what it is. When that happens all I end up doing is share some GYAN(wow impact, that was a slang). The Slang has progressed to such an extent that today there are slang dictionaries and encyclopedia. Wonder whats in them.

let me try to decipher a few of them:

Fitting- Complain behind one's back (usage- yen amma, FITTING it bittiya?)
Ticket- In the death bed (usage- Looks like he might take the TICKET anytime now)
Gyan- explain something boring(usage- now he'll start giving GYAN about himself)
ROTFL- Rolling on the floor laughing( good one! ROTFL!)
Ganga Jal- Alchohol (usage- join us for some late evening GANGA JAL)

There are many more things which are way too complicated, for more GYAN log on to Google and search SLANG in any language you want. You will find a million pages!